Yesterday, I formally resigned from my position as an Equities Trader at Kershner Trading Group. While I think those who know me well were not, at all, surprised about this decision, I feel like I should take this opportunity to reflect on the last 5 years and address some of the questions I’ve been asked by different people.
The Decision to Move On
The seed for this decision really has been planted since the very beginning. When I accepted this position before my graduation in 2004, I knew that my success as a trader was anything but guaranteed. But as a kid that just graduated from college and not having a whole lot to lose (family of my own, kids, financial obligations, etc.), I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity at this exciting position.
This is what I looked at for 5 years...
I promised myself before actually starting that I was going to give it a year and everything I have and see where it would lead me. As I soon found out after obtaining all my licenses and started trading actual shares (and losing real money), this was going to be a lot harder than I originally thought. It wasn’t until the end of that very first year that I started seeing success in trading.
In the spring of 2007, after almost 2 years on the job, I had my first serious thought/struggle about the viability of this position for myself. I’ve always thought that as long as I was making money, I would be very happy with this job. And even though my trading was continuing to improve and evolve with the market, I found that even as I started seeing more success, I was still struggling in finding joy in what I do.
I vividly remember how unsatisfied I felt one afternoon after a very successful trading day. I think it was mostly because I realized that my job didn’t make a product that helped anyone nor did I perform a service that helped anyone – The only thing that I did was sucked cold, hard cash out of the market (which really is exactly what a short term trader is supposed to do). The truth of the matter is that there are not many jobs out there that offers more freedom with your time, more autonomy, and more potential reward than the life of a trader. But, to me, the cost of all of those things come at the price of a job that is inherently very unstable, selfish, and secretive by nature (I hated how sometimes I feel like I couldn’t talk to someone because I don’t want them to think that I’m trying to “steal” their strategy from them). It was around this time that I knew I did not want to be doing this in the long run. Add in how taxing the stress day after day can be, I knew it was only a matter of time before my time as a trader was up.
Despite the seed of struggle that was planted, there are only two logical explanation as to how I lasted an additional 3 years – the KTG team and the market of 2008. Not even counting the fact that I had the opportunity to work alongside with some of my best friends, the KTG team have done so much to provide opportunities for success whether by the personnel there to help us or by technological tools given to us. Without the help, encouragement, and support of so many people, I know that I would never have made it this far. And as for the market of 2008 is concerned, I’ll just say that it was a true privilege to trade in that market and I’ll leave it at that.
I was seriously contemplating walking away from trading last fall (I even had a resignation letter written out) but I felt like I still had a little bit more fuel left in the tank so I decided to press on. Eventually, my efforts to continue to evolve with the market was starting to pay off little by little. But I knew that even though I’ve won a few battles here and there – this wasn’t a war I was going to win.
In the end, when the inevitable becomes reality, I knew that the only option was to let go and move forward with my life knowing that it was the right thing for me both professionally and personally. The last 5 years with KTG have had its shares of ups and downs, but in the end, I am just grateful that I got to try this on my terms and left on good terms and without blowing up my trading account. I have learned a lot the last 5 years not only about how the market functions but also (and more importantly) how I function in the midst of stress.
So… What’s next?
Since my resignation has become official, It’s been really encouraging that a lot of people have asked me if I was going to pursue some of my passions (photography, food) as a career. But to answer the “what’re you going to do now question” in a nut shell: I don’t know yet. The only thing I know is that the future is full of possibilities. So I’m going to take some time off, do a little traveling and try to figure out along the ways which direction I want to go with in my life.
Are you going to stay in Austin?
While I’ve always perceived myself as a person who embrace change, at the same time, I also feel very conflicted about the idea of relocating just because that means that I would have to leave behind not only a city that I love, but also good friends that have been by my side through the best and worst of time. So as of right now, I’m not planning to relocate in the foreseeable future (although the foreseeable part is really not that long right now).
Where’re you traveling to?
The plan right now is that I’ll be hanging out in Austin until the 13th and then I’ll be in Dallas until the 22nd (tentative). I’ll also be visiting the Pacific Northwest from 5/26-6/1. I’ll have (almost) all the free time in the world, so if you’re up for it, let me know if you want to hang out. =)
(Bonus) Trading Stats from the past 5 years
Since you’ve made it all the way to the end, I thought I’d reward you with a glimpse of what I’ve done the last 5 years with some of the stats that I took a looked at before I resigned…
Shares Traded: 21,319,664 (not a whole lot by any means…)
Winning Percentage: 61%
Median Trade Duration: 55 seconds
Positive Days: 865
Negative Days: 324
Best Trading Day: 9/19/2008
Worst Trading Day: 12/19/2008
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